Sunday, November 15

Quality Control, China Style, Part 2

(This is a continuation of Quality Control, China Style, the recap of a test that we foreign teachers are required to take.)

Section 2: "Elementary" Knowledge Test

I think it would be prudent to say here that when I was introduced to this test, I had a completely misguided idea of what it would be like.  I was chatting with my boss one day when she told me that I needed to take this online test, to make sure I was qualified to stick with my job.  Now, to me it seemed entirely appropriate to assume that I would be taking a test primarily consisting of English knowledge, effective teaching methods, and perhaps a smattering of linguistics.  Interestingly, my boss seemed to be thinking on the same lines.  And, actually, I was fairly confident on my way to the test; I know that stuff! Wow, though, was I far off.

Due to the large volume of fantastic questions in this examination, I had a hard time picking my favorites.  Here is what I ended up with, starting with the first and, of course, my favorite question.




Although I probably should have been slightly worried that the first question of the "Elementary Knowledge Test" was about moon cakes, I was instead super excited, because I Know This One!

And, in no particular order:



What are the eight major cooking styles in China?
  • Shangdong, Sichuan, Anhui, FuJian, JiangSu, ZheJiang, Hunan, Anhui
  • Shangdong, Sichuan, Guangdong, Fujian, Jiangsu, ZheJiang, Hubei, Anhui
  • Beijing, Guangdong, Hunan, Jiangsu, FuJian, ZheJiang, Sichuan, Hubei
  • Shangdong, Hubei, Guangdong, Sichuan, JiangSu, Hunan, ZheJiang

I can see how this might affect my effectiveness as a teacher.  10 points if you know the answer to this question without research.

Who are the astronauts in Shenzhou VI?
  • Junlong Fei, Liwei Yang
  • Liwei Yang, Haisheng Nie
  • Junlong Fei, Haisheng Nie
  • Boming Liu, Liwei Yang
    Are you kidding?  I can't even remember the names of the students in my class!  There are actually quite a few more obscure Chinese trivia questions, so I won't include them all here; just trust me, you probably don't know the answers.

    2008+2007+2006+2005-2004-2003-2002-2001+2000+1999
    +1998+1997-1996-1995-1994-1993+1992+…
    …+6+5-4-3-2-1=? 
    • 284790350023
    • 4016
    • 3901
    • 2510
    No calculators, please.

    Who is the current president of the USA?
    • Hosni Mubarak
    • Angela Merkel
    • Vladimir Putin
    • George W. Bush
    Alright, fair enough, I guess this news is only like 10 months old.  I assume readers here don't need this explained.

    A British prime minister normally serves a term of ______.
    • two years
    • five years
    • four years
    • six years
    However, if you don't find this question humorous (i.e. U.S. readers), try a little research.

    In which year was Longrnan Group UK Ltd. founded?
    • 1721
    • 1722
    • 1723
    • 1724
    I can only assume after some brief research that they meant "Longman", instead of "Longrnan", and that they might be referring to what is now "Pearson Longman", a large ELT company, but I do not nearly have the drive to actually figure out this answer.  So if you just happen to know it off of the top of your head, then friend, I salute you.  You will certainly make an excellent teacher here.

    Which day of the year is World Environment Day? 
    • 5th June
    • 4th July
    • 14th May
    • 22nd May
    This is the kind of question you probably just want to get wrong intentionally, along with the rest of the conspicuously out-of-place, environment-related questions.  China doesn't have the patience for you whiny hippie types.

    Which personality trait is common among most Chinese people?
    • Fiery
    • Enthusiastic
    • Suppressed
    • Crazy
    Trust me, I don't care how obvious the answer here is, it's a trapJust pick B!


    When interest rates increase, what generally happens to stock prices on the exchange?
    • Stock prices increase
    • Stock prices decrease
    • Stock prices remain stable
    • Changes in stock prices are uncertain
    Ah, yes, now I see how this question is related to my ability as a language teacher.

    Which is the largest island in China?
    • Hainan Island
    • Chongning Island
    • Xiamen Island
    • Taiwan Island
    Obviously, the answer is Taiwan, and don't you dare say otherwise...

    And we'll end on an easier note:

    In which continent is China?
    • Asia
    • Africa
    • Europe
    • South America
    Whew, finally, a freebie.  Thanks, China.

    (Browse related posts: Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - DIY Exam Link)

    5 comments:

    Ali said...

    wow, are you sure this was a real test you had to take? like you didn't alter the questions? ridiculousness! (hilarious ridiculousness!)
    love the one about Taiwan.. haha

    and 10 points for me because I knew the chinese cuisine was a)
    (even though you/they had a typo and put anhui twice it should be cantonese! - okay so i only knew that last part because i wikied it, but I DID guess a) correctly!)

    ben said...

    more, more!

    Liz said...

    i think your version of the 8 major cuisines is a trick question :P

    Jackson Davis said...

    It wouldn't be the only one =).

    Unknown said...

    This is my first time i visit here. I found so much entertaining stuff in your blog, especially its discussion, I guess I am not the only one having all the enjoyment here! Keep up the good work.Thanks!!
    Quality control china

    Post a Comment