Happy Thanksgiving!!

I hope everyone in the States had a wonderful time on this lovely holiday based around eating.  I, myself, forgot about it entirely until I was reminded by my thoughtful students, at which point I had the most intense craving for Western food I've had since I got here.  For those who don't know me, I must explain here that Pumpkin Pie is one of my top three favorite foods in the whole world, and that this is a holiday where it is traditional for me to eat it until I get sick.  Best holiday ever!

So, after I was reminded by my students, I decided I would have to celebrate in the best way that I could.  So, we rowdied up all of the Americans in the city (three!), one Indian, and two Brits, and all headed across the street to the local "Western Cafe", to see what we could find.  Well, what we found was a menu that was (slightly awkwardly) translated into English, and listed "Pumpkin Pie" under the desserts section!  You cannot imagine my excitement.

I should have known it was far too good to be true, and instead of the delicious American-style pie I was expecting, we got these little grease-soaked pumpkin biscuits instead:

Ah, well, we'll call it Pumpkin Pie With Chinese Characteristics.  It was at least something to remind us of home, and was kindly stamped with the Chinese characters for Happiness, Long Life, Money etc.  Thanks for the effort, guys.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Ahhhh! Snow!

Please, allow me to preface this post by saying that I am a born-and-raised Floridian, and that it hasn't snowed in Florida since I was 5 years old.  Please forgive any excess of exclamation points.  Additionally, I am freezing, so I am typing in gloves; please forgive any typos as well.  And without further ado,

WOOOOOOOOOO!!! 

Ah.  Much better, thank you.

So, about a week ago I woke up to the following terrifying weather report on my computer: 

 What I found outside my window, though, was far more glorious!
(And far less depressing!)

Naturally, I did as any responsible teacher would do in my situation, and spent the whole day playing outside and taking pictures:

(A few friends and I pose for the camera.  You might recognize Mao Yeye on the left (remember her?).  Also pictured is Mani from India, and Zhijuan, formerly known in English as "Better".)

First things first, I rounded up a few of my friends and made up for all of the standard fun-in-the-snow time that I missed as a kid.  It was awesome.  We had snowball fights, made snow angels, and even tried in vain to make a snowman!  Classic!  One of my favorite activities, though, was the series of snow races across the incredibly slick polished marble that the school has inexplicably laid down everywhere:

After some general horseplay, I managed to convince the braver souls to join me on a journey to the highest rooftop we could find, so we could get a nice view of the campus.  This conveniently happened to be the library we were playing in front of:

Interestingly, as opposed to the locked doors I'm used to, in Xuchang apparently you can just walk up to the roof of most buildings without any issue.  Most likely highly related, the idea of going to the roof for anything but official business doesn't seem to cross the minds of the Chinese people I meet. That is, of course, until I meet them.

After a long time of frolicking and fun, I eventually had a class scheduled in the afternoon that I felt mildly responsible for, and felt I needed to attend.  Luckily, I have a lot of freedom with my curriculum.

"Class, today we are going to go outside and learn about 'weather'"

Best teacher ever.

(If you are reading the Sinocopia main page, make your way to the post page for a few more of my favorite photos from the day!)

Quality Control, China Style, part 3

(This is the final post of a series beginning here.)

Section 3: The "Writing" Exam

Actual text reads: "Is the rapid and enormous development of China a chance or a challenge to the remainder of the world?  What is your position on this topic?  Please make clear points and support these points with examples?"

Wow! Only one question, yes, but man, talk about baggage!  You've got 200 words and 10 minutes to figure out how to tiptoe around this one.  In the words of the late Mitch Hedberg, Good luck, f%@#er!


Evaluation Report

One nice thing about the first two sections of the test is that the results are returned instantaneously, so you know exactly where you stand.  And, just in case you are curious as to where I stand:

Knowledge Test

The score of Knowledge Test is 59 , high scoring index is Mathematical Knowledge , low scoring index is Knowledge of Educational Psychology . 

Interestingly, I dropped out of my math program in my second year at UF, and switched over to linguistics, minoring in language education.  I just think this result came about primarily from the fact that the Math questions were hugely more straightforward than the Psychology questions, and less able to be obscured by cultural and language barriers.  Or hey, maybe I just know a lot about math.

Psychological Test

The score for Psychological Test is 42 , high scoring index is Go-aheadism, Communication skills, Face Tendency , low scoring index is Adaptive Ability, Inspiring Capacity, Comprehensive Analysis Ability, Response Ability . 

This result is by far my favorite of the two.  Firstly, the initial obvious result is that I failed a personality test.  I didn't even know that was possible!  But even more interesting are the actual specifics they called me out on.  It isn't perhaps terribly meaningful if you haven't ever known me as a person, and haven't gleaned this sort of intuition from reading large portions of my blog, but you can trust me anyways when I say this basically describes the exact opposite of who I am (very strongly adaptive, with little-to-no "Go-aheadism" to be found).

Also, the evaluation page contained this interesting little ditty:
(Notes added by me, obviously).

Advice for Testees:

Result of this evaluation only provides you a reference for knowing yourself better, rather than evidence that you will gain great success in society. 

(Which is why we unashamedly use the results to evaluate your potential worth as an employee)

During the evaluation, you are affected by test time, your mood, circumstance, and etc. If you think that the description and advice for you does not match the fact, you can think about flowing points:   
(I find that thinking about flowing points generally does make me feel better.)

1. Recalling your state when answering the test, whether you are concentrated or not

2. Recalling whether you slide over yourself consciously or guess the intention of testers

(Because apparently, if it's not the latter, then you're doing it wrong.)

3. Ask classmates or friends around you how they think about you

(Well, how about it guys?  What do you really think about my Face Tendency?)

4. Consult professional evaluation advisers or teachers in employment center for further advice

(Translation: Take a real test.)

Your Homework

Luckily, the wizards up in the capital have made the test accessible to anyone (even you!).  Now, I didn't put nearly all of the humorous questions up on the blog, and not only that, but there are a great deal of questions that the test randomly selects from, so your results might be different than mine.  So, your homework is to take the test for yourself, and leave me a few humorous anecdotes in the comments section.  Tell me your favorite questions!  Tell me your results!  Who can ace the personality test? (Hint: Contrary to what you see around here, just say that smoking is bad!)


Evaluation System for Foreign Language Experts
(Note that you will have to register an account.  Note that aside from remembering your login name and password, nothing else about the login process matters.  Just stick a few random letters in the required boxes, and it'll fly.  Trust me, the country isn't to big on quality control; you'll get through just fine...)

(Browse related posts: Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - DIY Exam Link)

Quality Control, China Style, Part 2

(This is a continuation of Quality Control, China Style, the recap of a test that we foreign teachers are required to take.)

Section 2: "Elementary" Knowledge Test

I think it would be prudent to say here that when I was introduced to this test, I had a completely misguided idea of what it would be like.  I was chatting with my boss one day when she told me that I needed to take this online test, to make sure I was qualified to stick with my job.  Now, to me it seemed entirely appropriate to assume that I would be taking a test primarily consisting of English knowledge, effective teaching methods, and perhaps a smattering of linguistics.  Interestingly, my boss seemed to be thinking on the same lines.  And, actually, I was fairly confident on my way to the test; I know that stuff! Wow, though, was I far off.

Due to the large volume of fantastic questions in this examination, I had a hard time picking my favorites.  Here is what I ended up with, starting with the first and, of course, my favorite question.

Although I probably should have been slightly worried that the first question of the "Elementary Knowledge Test" was about moon cakes, I was instead super excited, because I Know This One!

And, in no particular order:

What are the eight major cooking styles in China?

• Shangdong, Sichuan, Anhui, FuJian, JiangSu, ZheJiang, Hunan, Anhui
• Shangdong, Sichuan, Guangdong, Fujian, Jiangsu, ZheJiang, Hubei, Anhui
• Beijing, Guangdong, Hunan, Jiangsu, FuJian, ZheJiang, Sichuan, Hubei
• Shangdong, Hubei, Guangdong, Sichuan, JiangSu, Hunan, ZheJiang

I can see how this might affect my effectiveness as a teacher.  10 points if you know the answer to this question without research.

Who are the astronauts in Shenzhou VI?

• Junlong Fei, Liwei Yang
• Liwei Yang, Haisheng Nie
• Junlong Fei, Haisheng Nie
• Boming Liu, Liwei Yang

Are you kidding?  I can't even remember the names of the students in my class!  There are actually quite a few more obscure Chinese trivia questions, so I won't include them all here; just trust me, you probably don't know the answers.

2008+2007+2006+2005-2004-2003-2002-2001+2000+1999
+1998+1997-1996-1995-1994-1993+1992+…
…+6+5-4-3-2-1=? 

• 284790350023
• 4016
• 3901
• 2510

No calculators, please.

Who is the current president of the USA?

• Hosni Mubarak
• Angela Merkel
• Vladimir Putin
• George W. Bush

Alright, fair enough, I guess this news is only like 10 months old.  I assume readers here don't need this explained.

A British prime minister normally serves a term of ______.

• two years
• five years
• four years
• six years

However, if you don't find this question humorous (i.e. U.S. readers), try a little research.

In which year was Longrnan Group UK Ltd. founded?

• 1721
• 1722
• 1723
• 1724

I can only assume after some brief research that they meant "Longman", instead of "Longrnan", and that they might be referring to what is now "Pearson Longman", a large ELT company, but I do not nearly have the drive to actually figure out this answer.  So if you just happen to know it off of the top of your head, then friend, I salute you.  You will certainly make an excellent teacher here.

Which day of the year is World Environment Day? 

• 5th June
• 4th July
• 14th May
• 22nd May

This is the kind of question you probably just want to get wrong intentionally, along with the rest of the conspicuously out-of-place, environment-related questions.  China doesn't have the patience for you whiny hippie types.

Which personality trait is common among most Chinese people?

• Fiery
• Enthusiastic
• Suppressed
• Crazy

Trust me, I don't care how obvious the answer here is, it's a trap.  Just pick B!

When interest rates increase, what generally happens to stock prices on the exchange?

• Stock prices increase
• Stock prices decrease
• Stock prices remain stable
• Changes in stock prices are uncertain
  

Ah, yes, now I see how this question is related to my ability as a language teacher.

Which is the largest island in China?

• Hainan Island
  
• Chongning Island
  
• Xiamen Island
  
• Taiwan Island
  

Obviously, the answer is Taiwan, and don't you dare say otherwise...

And we'll end on an easier note:

In which continent is China?

• Asia
• Africa
• Europe
• South America
  

Whew, finally, a freebie.  Thanks, China.

(Browse related posts: Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - DIY Exam Link)

New Life in the Apartment

Last week I impulsively bought a Crysanthemum plant from a student selling them on the sidewalk on campus, and I have been amazed at just how much of a positive effect it has had on the atmosphere in the apartment.

His name is Charlie.

For awhile, he wasn't looking too healthy (although rather photogenic):

But he snapped out of it, and eventually came into a nice bloom.  Hooray Charlie!

Quality Control, China Style

The other day, I was informed that I was required to take part in something called the Evaluation System for Foreign Language Expert, a sort of employment screening exam concocted as a joint venture between the government's Foreign Affairs Department and the Capital University of Economics and Business in Beijing.  I hadn't heard of it before, and honestly, I still think it is a great idea.  The state of the Foreign Language Education industry here is laughable, and integrating some sort of quality control system would be fantastic.  However, I think the test simply goes to show that the quality control department here is in desperate need of some quality control.

Section 1: Psychological Test

The first thing the Psychological test does is to remind you that this is simply a personality test, and therefore there are no right or wrong answers.  And so, as we look at some of my favorite questions from this portion of the exam, let's keep this in mind.    

(Edit: Since I first took this test, the wording on the Psychological section has changed.  Now, you should note, there is "only one proper answer" per question on the test, and thus, one proper personality type that we should all shoot for.  Good luck!)

If you were asked to inform the others with an urgent notice, what would you plan to do?

• I would post the urgent notice to the public.
• I would broadcast it on the Internet.
• I would send text messages via mobile and ask them to reply with confirmation. I would only call those without reply.
• I would send a group text message via Mobil.
• I would inform some people and ask them to inform the others through the phone.

Just a little psychology question. No big deal. No ulterior motives here, whatsoever. Nope. Why do you ask?  (Also, just who are "the others?")

How do you feel on an early autumn morning?

• I would enjoy the cool weather in fall.
• A lot of leaves may have fallen.
• I won't have any special feelings.
• It might be a little bit cool outside.
• It might be draining outside.

Man, I hate it when it's draining outside.  What is the correct answer here, I wonder?  And is the last answer a typo, or might they be referring to the extra energy output required to keep a body warm?  We may never know...

If you went out for dinner in a restaurant, where would you prefer to sit?

• I could tolerate to sit in smoking area if there is no seat in a non-smoking area.
• It doesn't matter.
• I might change to another restaurant no seats are available in a non-smoking area.
• I would sit in a non-smoking area.
• I would sit in a non-smoking area as far as possible away from the smoking area.

This is obviously a trick question; "non-smoking" hasn't even been invented here yet!

Do you agree that the up-and-down is not the real life, but trivial daily life is real?

• No, I would like to have an up-and-down life.
• I kind of agree.
• It may not match with everyone's life.
• Yes, I agree.
• I am kind of disagree.

Honestly, I hope a lot isn't riding on this test, because I have no idea what this means.  I chose (C), because I felt it most closely matched the complete nonsense of the question.

Fill in the blank according to the logic rule: ①A,D,G,J, _ ；② 21,20,18,15,11, _；③8，6，7，5，6，4，_

• Ｍ，６，５
• Ｌ，６，５
• Ｌ，３，７
• Ｍ，５，５
• Ｌ，７，３

Psychology test!  Psychology!  Jeesh.  Although, to be honest, I liked this question.

Assume that you were CEO of a company, and you had to handle 7 cases, each of which could take 6 hours. How would you handle this within 3 hours?

You don't even need to know the answer choices here.  No matter what you do, I think it's been fairly well established that you're completely f@#ked.

How would you assess your strengths among forms of communication?

• My speech capability is a little bit stronger than my writing.
• My writing capability is a little bit stronger than my writing.
• I have stronger writing capability.
• I have stronger speech capability.
• Both writing and speech are my strengths.

(B), obviously.

What would you do when you get angry?

• I scratch my head.
• I prefer to stay alone.
• I look for someone to fight with.
• I become talkative in order to get rid of the upset feeling.
• I break things.

Answer (A) is really just a vocabulary test, to make sure you know the difference between "angry" and "confused". Also, good luck finding a nice healthy outlet here.  Perhaps illuminating of society here?

If the quality of work were not represented by the salary, then we should pursue to complete the work on time. Do you agree?

• I don't think that salary should be the most critical factor.
• It is correct because the quality is reflected by the price.
• I still think that salary is important, because it represents the capability of my work.
• It is depends on the type of work.
• I believe so.

Translation: If you come here to work, and then realize that you're working long hours and getting paid in peanuts, are you going to raise a fuss?

How do you feel when you look at your latest photo? 

• I am very satisfied with it, and feel that I am becoming more beautiful.
• It is not bad, and I like the way I am in the picture.
• I don't like the way I look in the picture.
• I wouldn't feel any difference.
• I could see the time stamp on my face and feel dissatisfied with it.

Well, my first intuition was obviously (A), but I decided to take a look at my latest photo just to check.

Arrgh, damn time stamp!

(Browse related posts: Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - DIY Exam Link)