Live from Xuchang, China

Now, you faithful readers may have to excuse me for a moment while I blow the cow (This is a funny Chinese joke! Laugh here!), but I had a fairly proud moment recently.  I'm terribly sorry about all the text with no pictures.

The Premise

So, about three weeks ago, I was contacted by a friend-of-a-friend-of-my-boss who worked for a local traffic-related radio station, and asked if I could help them with a short project.  Essentially, I was to read a few English sentences for them to record, and that would be it.  As I was on vacation, and didn't have a lot else going on at the time, I accepted, and was picked up by one of the radio hosts, "Snow" (雪冰 Xuěbīng).

When we got to the radio station, however, I found that what they instead had was a list of their program names, which they had translated into English as "Pair explosion comedy", "Story Program", and the like.  So, I first had to give their programs proper English names, and then record them so that they could announce their programs in Chinese and English.  Not because they actually have any English listeners as far as I can tell, but just because It's Cool.

The Plot Twist (*yawn*, predictable.)

I feel like interesting exploits are getting so cliché lately.  I can't walk around for two minutes without stubbing my toe on an adventure.

Anyhow, somehow during that process they figured out I could speak a little Chinese, and asked me if I wanted to be on their radio show in like 10 minutes.  Needless to say, I was terrified.  Now, I may be a bit extreme in that regard--I actually get pretty nervous whenever I go into a new restaurant to eat, and I'm still not entirely clear why--but I think most people would be pretty nervous if they were asked to go on a live radio show in a language they've only been speaking for a few months.  But, I decided a long time ago that that sort of thing shouldn't stop me (as that one woman always says, "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway"), so I went for it, and ended up doing a pretty long radio show.

The Result

Basically what this is leading up to is that you all can now listen to be blabber about nothing in Chinese!  Hooray!

The actual recorded section I have is about an hour and a half long (and that's only the last half!), so I'm obviously not going to post everything on here, but rather just a few sections, so you can have a quick listen if you like. Sorry about the poor audio quality; it was a big MP3.  Also, if you haven't studied any Chinese, well, good luck!

Part 1 - "In Which I Receive a Caller"

(12:11 - 2.8MB)

I don't have the first half of the recording, so there's no real introduction.  But the first clip is the best I could do, so I don't start talking a whole lot until about 2 minutes in.  In the first half, someone calls in to ask the usual sorts of questions, e.g.  "Where are you from?",  "Have you been anywhere besides Xuchang", "Are you fat?  I hear Americans are white and fat."  And then later we talk a lot about food, and what sorts of foods I like to eat.  Pretty much standard program for Chinese conversation.

Part 2 - "In Which I Introduce Owl City"

(1:38 - 770KB)

 (Bonus! Download "On The Wing" by Owl City)

In the first half, the announcer asks me if I'm accustomed to life here, and then we introduce the next song we'll be playing.  What song you ask?  Why, of course it's "On the Wing" by Owl City.  Remember them?

Part 3 - "In Which I Sing On Air"

(0:50 - 392KB)

(Bonus! Download 左眼皮跳跳 by 小文)

This small section is only interesting because I somehow decided it would be a good idea to sing a few bars in Chinese for the listeners.  Embarrassing.  But not too embarrassing to share with you, obviously.

Part 4 - "In Which We Chat About Holidays"

 (11:10 - 2.5MB)

This is a rather long clip that involves us chatting about holidays, and their meanings and traditions.  In the beginning I discover that that particular day happened to be some obscure Chinese holiday, and then later I explain that Valentine's Day happens because St. Valentine was eaten by a lion in the Colosseum.  I have no idea if this is true or not; I'm basing it entirely on a movie adaptation of the story that I watched in elementary school.

Denoument

So I figured since it's basically a traffic radio station, there probably wasn't much of anyone listening to me talk anyways, but lo and behold, not only did I get a text message half-way through from a friend saying she was listening to my program, but I've also had two taxi drivers chat away about how they heard me on the radio that one time.  Life here continues to be interesting.

I was kindof proud of myself afterwards, actually.  For three months of Chinese class three years ago, plus about 4 months working here, I think I'm doing alright.



PS - If you did not like this post, please accept this picture of an alien robot instead.  His name is Alfred and he lives in my living room.